Being human is not an easy ride. We all know this. We all have our man-made struggles.
Yesterday, while I was walking back from the fruit stand, I saw a couple fighting on the side of the street. It gave me chills.
The woman attacked the man’s shoulders and head (he was probably already walking away, but the woman was in extreme anger) and then the man brought her behind their parked car and attacked her back. I was trying not to look, but I was walking towards that direction. Suddenly the man was carrying a huge rock bigger than their heads and I thought at that moment I was going to witness a murder scene in broad daylight. That’s not something I’ve dreamed to experience in paradise. Good thing that it didn’t happen. I looked around to check if there’s a police officer nearby or where I would report it, just in case. The next time I glanced, the woman was on her knees, and she was holding the huge rock this time, probably daring the man to hit her with it.
It was disturbing and extremely sad at the same time. Imagine, meeting someone and finding that person so beautiful at first, and then later on once you’re together for a while, you fight and want to kill each other.
I think that if a relationship has reached this kind of violent phase (verbal or physical,) either one should do all their might to get out of it. This part is serious. I know the difficult feeling of not being able to take yourself out of any harmful or ugly situation so easily, it’s tough. But, to anyone going through this same thing, don’t let it go too far or last for years. Once that line of respect is crossed, it’s time to get out.
I don’t think that there’s love in such kind of relationships, seriously. It’s more of attachment or a trauma bond. I’m not a psychologist, but it’s- I think being accustomed to resorting to violence as a solution to deep anger. And oftentimes this anger is more about the person who is angry and how he or she deals with that anger, which is for sure coming from deep wounds and so much unhealed pain from their past. Fighting this way takes the beauty of life. It’s best for a person to be on his or her own first and fix their shit before getting involved with anyone. When two angry people meet each other and take their rage out on each other through violence, that relationship must end.
Also, it’s not healthy when one justifies a behavior because of their past. It is your responsibility to address your issues on your own and heal for the benefit of yourself and others. Otherwise, it’s going to be “same shit, different face.”
As in life in general, if you haven’t learned something that you needed to learn, history repeats itself until you get it right.
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